One would think that having my own, personal cabin would protect me from unwelcome surprises due to strangers. One would be wrong. First sight of my cabin on Sensation was a doozy. It was an interior guest cabin with beds against two different walls. The room reeked of fish.
“What’s with the separate bunks?” I asked my departing counterpart, Robin. “Aren’t you here with your girlfriend?” He was about to answer when a very tall, attractive woman entered. She was six feet tall and, while plea
I stumbled onto this blog by “Crewbar Queen,” begun on two separate sites several years ago. She obviously held a staff position, based on the ease of her entry into ships. She didn’t see it that way. Her words, filled with anxiety and confusion, moved me. All crew can relate to her every word. Below is her only post.
“It’s Sunday and I joined the ship today. I am already exhausted. I look around as I type this, staring at the four walls of this closet size cabin with four beds in it. Soon
The anatomy of a conch is a curious and unnerving thing.
“Yeah, mon,” said the Bahamian in the conch shack by the sea. “Take da skin and eyes right off, den trow dem in da water. Dey live by demselves for two more days.”
My friend Laureen leaned over the counter to get a better look. In Donny’s hands was a large conch shell and a knife. “No, uh, gills or organs or anything?” I asked. “Just the skin? Living?”
Donny demonstrated. Experienced fingers pulled from the shell a floppy, p
Few things bring out fear, prejudice, and ethnocentrism more completely than medical care on cruise ships. We’re all subject to a bit of this. After all, when ill, who doesn’t prefer mom’s chicken soup over an injection, regardless of how credentialed the medical professional may be? Alas, mom’s not on the cruise, so we have to rely on the ship’s medical staff. But is he/she credentialed? Yes. Is he/she what you are used to at home? No. Does it matter? Probably not.
First, the scare-tactics
When one cruise ends, another begins … that’s my motto!
Our Ireland & Scotland Interlude was not yet complete, when we were already thinking of our next cruise. Actually, we were not yet sure of the destination, we just knew it would be a cruise on Princess. Therefore, as is the custom, we took advantage of the Future Cruise Desk while on board the Ocean Princess and earned future cruise credits and on-board credits by booking a future cruise, to be taken on any ship at any time within
Halloween is the one glorious night where you are not only free, but encouraged, to embrace that which brings fear and loathing into the hearts and minds of common man. A cross-dressing man fits into that category as snugly as, say, Freddie Kruger or H.R. Giger’s Alien. But sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do.
Gathering a Halloween costume of any kind while sailing the Mediterranean is no small task, but even more so on the Wind Surf. Though the world’s largest sailing ship, she was st
The ringing phone woke me up and a woman unceremoniously asked, “Are you ready?” Her voice was husky, accent sexy. Surely this was a dream…? I blinked and rubbed my sleep-stung eyes. “Cabin swap,” she explained brusquely, squashing any fantasies. I asked her what she meant. That was a mistake.
“You not ready yet?!” she exploded angrily. “We only have hour before check-in! What the Hell you been doing you #@%$& lazy %#&$*!”
“I’ve been sleeping!” I retorted, waking fast. “I work
Survival training is an amusing label for watching a few videos on watertight doors and garbage separation, followed by quizzes on how many kilojoules of energy each survivor on a life raft was allocated per day. Still, the films are far from boring. These are shockers reminiscent of what I saw on graduation day at my high school driving class. ‘Blood Flows Red on the Highway’ becomes ‘Blood Flows Red on the High Seas.’ There were simulations of sinking ships and drowning people more intense tha
The shortage of necessary materials in a cruise ship dining room is a serious issue, but not for the reason one might think. Each waiter is assigned a specific amount of silverware and a single rack to hold it. Fanatically guarding your silver is a matter of course on Carnival ships, and every rack is profoundly labeled. Because names are extremely confusing on ships (what, with 60 nationalities aboard), many draw pictures instead. As the only American waiter in the fleet, I drew the Stars &
Like in any big city, few stars can be seen at night on a cruise ship. Even if sailing black waters with black sky far from mankind, the ships themselves blast so much light pollution that you see nothing but black. It’s just like how stars are not visible from the surface of the moon. I pondered this while at the stern rail, as aft, port, and starboard were impenetrable black. Far beyond the bow, however, the orange glow of oil refineries illuminated the swamps of Louisiana. We were nearing the
Moving up from waiter to manager in Carnival Cruise Lines was literal: I ascended six decks above the crew who dwell below the waterline. As a junior officer I still had a cabin-mate, but things were looking up. This was the officer’s deck, after all, and I would no longer be subjected to the crew’s competing music (usually Indian vs. hip hop) long after the quiet-hours (which begin at 10PM). For the previous several months I had tried to sleep with my head and feet pressed against walls thumpin
*Warning: profanity implied within (only implied, but we’re talkin’ about sailors here…)
New York Stock Exchange on a Sunday night.
Bourbon Street on a Monday morning.
Cruise ship kitchen on a galley tour.
All are silent, empty sights unable to convey the absolute bedlam and pandemonium perpetrated there daily. The echoes have died, the detritus of maelstrom removed: ticker tape swept, bottles recycled, grills scraped. I understand the desire to join a galley tour, but it rea
Getting your first roommate in college (for example) can be intimidating, as any life change can be. But getting a new cabin mate on a cruise ship is particularly so. Sharing your limited personal space with a complete stranger is not something common, after all (one-night stands excepted, I guess). But when that stranger is invariably from another nation, indeed probably from another hemisphere entirely, of a different color and different religion speaking a different language (or many), you ju
This is not a blog about the port of St Thomas, the beautiful US Virgin Island, but more of some amazing advice from an individual living there.
I was with a friend at a restaurant in St Thomas, the waiter came to us and you could tell he was from the States and not the Caribbean, so I just had to ask. "Where are you from?" He replied, "Philedelphia." Then he went on telling us how he used to be a school teacher but since all of the budget cuts in the school system he has not worked as a te
There is much to enjoy in an art auction aboard a cruise ship. The auction process can be quite entertaining for those who participate, and art itself can bring stimulation into even the most dreary life. Yet there is much to fear. I have been a professional artist, art historian, and also art dealer, and can assure you that being fleeced by an art dealer is by no means restricted to ships. First I will discuss some tips about the art world in general, then specifically about ships.
The eas
You are probably wondering what happen to Day 8 – Sea Day. See previous Day 6. It was exactly the same with one added feature – re-packing, which is always a little sad and a little challenging – how to squeeze your all your stuff and the added souvenirs into your bags – but we made it work. As is the case with just about every vacation I take, my camera seems to take a holiday on the final day, and I return with basically no pictures of the final hours of our time away. Such was the case here.
What do you say to a group of thirty scared, exhausted, but excited people who have flown 5,000 to 10,000 miles from home to start a new job at sea? What words can simultaneously console both a macho Bulgarian man and a timid Indonesian woman? Upon joining Carnival Fantasy’s restaurant training, I heard the following spiel, more or less, and found it engaging.
“Let me welcome you aboard,” said the trainer. “We are going to have a lot of fun, and we are going to do a lot of work. I guarantee
Today we were given a gift – a warm, sunny day in Edinburgh. Unlike the mixed bag of weather conditions the previous days, blue skies prevailed – certainly not the dreadful weather picture I described in my earlier post where Sir William Wallace is drenched in the Highlands (see British Weather-Hollywood Style).
We were lucky with the weather, but not so sure about our luck of getting into Edinburgh this morning.
As we headed into the Port of Rosyth, the Captain came on over the loud s
As great as it is to be in port and see new cities and places for the first time, it is equally nice to have a day in between to sleep in a bit, with no place to be.
However, I should point out that my husband and I have very different ideas about sea days. I like to lounge around in my jammies and order breakfast in the room. He likes to be up at the crack of dawn, get some exercise, and stop at the buffet for breakfast. I like to find a quiet place to read, write or just watch the world g
The names Rob Roy, William Wallace and Braveheart always come to mind when I think of Scotland. The beauty of the highlands portrayed in the Hollywood films has always inspired me to visit Scotland, and this was a priority of our day here in Greenock.
After many months of careful research, I gathered a group of fellow on-line cruise community fans and booked the Luss, Loch Lomond & Sterling Castle tour with Great Scot Tours for 15 eager passengers, a guide highly recommended by many sea
The best way to get a feel of a UK or European city when you are only there for a few hours is on the city’s Hop on Hop Off tour (fondly referred to as the HOHO), and most cities here have them. You get a great overview and can get off or on wherever you like, all for one low price. In this case, the green Dublin Bus offered a 15% on-line discount for purchasing in advance, and who am I to refuse a discount – on line, or otherwise. This is a very pleasant and less expensive alternative to the ov
I’m talking about a man of a different sort. A bird whisperer. The Bird Man of Conquest. I prefer the latter name because it evokes the cramped, sparse living conditions of Alcatraz. That’s closer to a crew’s experience than, say, comfy suburbanites with enough expendable income for professional pet counseling. I’m not judging, but rather reminding that American attitudes towards animals are puzzling to the majority of the world. American pets are part of the family, receiving the same affection
THE BOAT DRILL is probably one of the biggest buzz/fun kills after arriving at your final vacation destination. Why do we have them? Safety reasons no doubt. What about returning cruisers, sorry nothing can be done about it... It really has nothing to do with the cruise lines, only maritime (coast guard) regulations. Especially after that horrific accident on the Costa ship, it has become more important to follow.
Luckily on some cruise lines, such as Carnival, you no longer need to bring y
