MichaelDeThorne

Paul Bearer one of the greats!R.I.P.

In terms of procrastination, I had a very productive day.

How do you know when you're too drunk to drive?You swerve to miss a tree and realize it's your air-freshener.

Walking out of KFC, the girl at the counter said see you tomorrow. I said so you're also a cardiologist?

In my opinion, The biggest difference between Men & Women is what comes to mind when the word Facial is used

Can someone please tell me, why do chicken breasts not have nipples ?

Well we're heading home from Boston. It's the old good news bad news thing. The good news is, if you have to have colon cancer, the type Cindy has is the best type. It has a non-mutating gene, which makes it easier to treat with medication. So no surgery. The bad news is that along with the new medication Dr. Goodman wants to use, Dana Farber wants him to use it in conjunction with chemo. So it looks like Cindy will be starting chemo therapy again right after the cruise. DING DING round 3 abo...

Cindy is super impressed with Dana Farber. Staff are so nice, friendly and super professional. And this place is über clean. Everywhere from the rooms, public areas, even the parking garage. AMAZING!!!

FYI: Telling a girl to calm down works about as well as trying to baptize a cat.

I remember a day when actions used to speak louder than words.Then along came Facebook and Twitter

Danica Patrick finishes 8th, beaten by Jimmie and 6 other Johnsons.

I don't know much about picking up women. Except that you can't use a bowling ball grip.

@TheFakeESPN: More Risky? -- Walking home from a Bulls home game lossorShitting in Oscar Pistorius bathroom

I never make the same mistake twice...I make it like five or six times, you know, just to be sure.

Sometimes I wrap myself in bows and call myself gifted...