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Cruise funny

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cherole

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This was forwarded to me. Thought this would be a good place to share it.

No Nursing Home for Me...

About 2 years ago my wife and I were on a cruise through the western Mediterranean aboard a Princess liner. At dinner we noticed an elderly lady sitting alone along the rail of the grand stairway in the main dining

room. I also noticed that all the staff, ships officers, waiters, busboys, etc., all seemed very familiar with this lady.

I asked our waiter who the lady was, expecting to be told that she owned the line, but he said he only knew that she had been on board for the last 4 cruises, back-to-back.

As we left the dining room one evening I caught her eye and stopped to say hello. We chatted and I said, "I understand you've been on this ship for the last four cruises."

She replied, "Yes, that's true."

I stated, "I don't understand" and she replied, without a pause, "It's cheaper than a nursing home."

So, there will be no nursing home in my future. When I get old and feeble, I am going to get on a Princess Cruise Ship. The average cost for a nursing home is $200 per day. I have checked on reservations on a Princess and I can get a long term discount and senior discount price of $135 per day. That leaves $65 a day for:

1. Gratuities which will only be $10 per day.

2. I will have as many as 10 meals a day if I can waddle to the restaurant, or I can have room service (which means I can have breakfast-in-bed every day of the week).

3. Princess has as many as three swimming pools, a workout room, free washers and dryers, and shows every night.

4. They have free toothpaste and razors, and free soap and shampoo.

5. They will even treat you like a customer, not a patient. An extra $5 worth of tips will have the entire staff scrambling to help you.

6. I will get to meet new people every 7 or 14 days.

7. T.V. broken? Light bulb need changing? Need to have the mattress replaced? No Problem! They will fix everything and apologize for your inconvenience.

8. Clean sheets and towels every day, and you don't even have to ask for them.

9. If you fall in the nursing home and break a hip you are on Medicare; if you fall and break a hip on the Princess ship they will upgrade you to a suite for the rest of your life.

Now hold on for the best! Do you want to see South America, the Panama Canal, Tahiti , Australia , New Zealand , Asia , or just name where you want to go?

Princess will have a ship ready to go. So don't look for me in a nursing home, just call shore to ship.

P.S.: And don't forget, when you die, they just dump you over the side -- at no charge.

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There is at least two people that I know of living(for the most time) on Princess ships. One is an elderly lady who is on the Island (I think) Not only fo they not treat her like a patient - they treat her like a queen. The other is a young man who has decided to run his internet business off the ships. He tends to stay on board one for a while, then shift. haven't heard from him for a long time, so maybe the crackdown on free Princess Internet finally drove him back ashore. he was quite happy living the life of a jet setter though.

I could think of worse ways to spend my retirement...

Charlie

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Some of you will remember this story... for the newbies, this might be the first time.

We met a woman on our first cruise who had sons that wanted to put her in a home after her husband died. She decided to jump on one of the HAL ships and stayed on one ship or another for the last ten years without telling her family where she was. When I sat next to her at the LATE show, she said all of the same things as are posted above. The news had reported on her recently and her sons found out. She was on the cruise with one of her sons and they were reconnecting. I've got to tell you, she must have been in her late 80's and was running circles around the crew and guests (including me). The captain had made her an honorary "senior" cruise director.

Count me in!

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